The first step is scary. Akin to jumping into the abyss. When you'd reach for the hand of the devil himself, if only to cling to something familiar. Anything but the nebulous void of uncertainty. I took the leap 58 days ago. After 46-years of "should-haves" the time had come to make a change. To re-engage. To take some chances. This time would be different. No declarations. No resolutions. Just a silent promise to myself to be better than I was the day before. To link yesterday to today, with no regard for tomorrow. My agenda? Basic. Start with the body and let the mind follow. Nearly two months later, the differences are subtle, but substantive. My mind: clear. My energy: vital. My body: lighter. My psyche: engaged. The recipe? Everyone wants a formula, right? The silver bullet. You won't like the answer. It's cliche… predictable… boring. Plants. All day-day, everyday. No meat. No dairy. Nothing with a mother goes in my mouth. Exercise? Didn't even bother with it for the first 30 days. I didn't want to overwhelm myself. Been there. Done that. Nope, I just wanted to see what a difference diet alone could make. And to be honest, more than month in, I was skeptical. I felt sluggish. My nose wouldn't stop running. My energy was erratic. But I hung with it. After all, there was the cancer to consider. But that's another post. I endured. I gave the diet a chance. No big slips. And then came the exercise. Stay in the zone. Burn the fat. Run, bike or walk, it was go slow to go long. No quick fixes this time. No treating my body like it was the enemy. No advil. It was time to build the house, brick by brick. That was 22 days ago. December 26th to be exact. The first time in years that I came out of the holidays lighter, faster and healthier. A good foundation to begin the new year. Mind. Check. Body. Check. But what good is all the energy and clarity if you have nothing–no why–to direct it towards. Nada, that's what. Without stakes. Without a compelling future vision. The rush won't last. the rocket won't escape orbit. Just a fast burn, then a rapid freefall back to earth. Not this time. My why was locked in the chamber before this all began. And it's was a good one. Something that had more to do with helping others than helping me. But we all know that's a lie. It's always about me. Nevertheless, if I was successful, it would do some serious good. And that phase of the plan began exactly nine days ago. An App if you must know. Don't puke. I'm not some millennial with dreams of early retirement. I'm in this. Been at it too long to think there's an easy way. Just want to leave this place a little better than I found it. It's an idea I've had buried in my "should-haves" for awhile. Haven't shown anyone. Making no promises. Just putting in the work. But it's feeling like something good is coming. Body. Mind. Purpose. Just swinging the axe. Chipping away. Feels pretty damn good. Inertia's a motherfucker.